Septimus Still Reviews!

So… Some of you might have noticed that I’ve been gone… for almost 3 years. That’s a long time, I know. But I promise, I have a good excuse. Or rather, excuses. (Why come up with one when I can come up with 3?) Anyway, here goes:

First of all, I was in grad-school. I know I had tweeted about that a few times, but grad-school kind of ate my for 2.5 years. It was… fun? I’m very glad that I stuck through it and finished my program, there was more than one point where I wanted to just say ‘fuck it’ and quit. But still she persisted, and after 2.5 grueling years, I now have a shiny Master’s Degree to show off (It’s a Masters in Library and Information Science, for those who are curious. And yes, I’m a librarian in my “real” life).

Second, depression. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before, but I suffer from depression. I’m not on any medication at this time, but I’ve taken anti-depressants in the past, and I’ve also seen a therapist on and off since I was a kid. My depression hasn’t been bad in the last several years (moving out of my parent’s house really really helped), but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact my daily life.

For the most part, I’m fine. I can get through every day with little to no symptoms. But when I’m stressed (like, trying to write 2 papers and get my ass to work on time), my depression tends to be worse.

Excuse number 3, and it’s a big one: I have ADD. ADD and depression you say? Isn’t she lucky! Yeah… Anyway, I’ve been dealing with symptoms of ADD since I was in middle-school (and isn’t that just the best time of our lives?). It’s been mostly under control since I finished college, but then again, I haven’t had to write papers, and do reports and surveys, and keep track of my own deadlines as intensely as I had to when I was in school. And then, well, I went back to school. I was very impressed with how I did in grad-school, but it was because I hyper-focused on school and work. If it wasn’t a paper for school, or something that paid my bills, I couldn’t focus on it.

This is also tied in to my depression. When I slipped up, or fell behind on an assignment or work task, I got stressed, which made my ADD harder to deal with, and depressed me. Being depressed makes it harder to concentrate on tasks… and well, vicious cycle and all.

So, where does this leave poor Septimus? Not reviewing, that’s where. Not only does depression decrease your sex-drive (which makes it a lot harder to review sex toys), but it makes it harder to get and stay motivated to complete tasks at all. Plus, with me having to hyper-focus on school and work, there just wasn’t a lot of time for me to be blogging.

TL;DR? I let my blog slip over the last few years because of grad-school and the ADD symptoms and depression that can with it. I lost my domain and stopped blogging at all. Luckily, I had all of my reviews and was able to re-publish them on blogger.

I’d been thinking about getting back into blogging since I finished school in December, but a week or so ago I was approached about reviewing a new toy from a company I already love. That was the kick-in-the-pants I needed to get my blog back up and running.

So…

What can you look forward to here?

A new toy review coming soon (I hope)

A write-up of my pilgrimage to the Good Vibrations store in San Fransisco

A renewal of my own domain (though it might be slightly different - update your links!)

And much more!

Stay tuned folks, I’m back.

Taking a Brief Hiatus

I know, I know. You see the word 'hiatus' and think: okay, well it was fun while it lasted, but there goes another blog. Ah well, such is life.

But it's not like that, I promise! I really will be back...

You might have noticed that over the last month or so my posts and reviews have been more and more infrequent. Instead of 10 posts per month, you're only getting 2... Granted, they're fabulous, but still, 2 posts just don't seem like quite enough to fill up the void.

And I want to do something about it, I really do. So what am I going to do? Well, I'm going to take a little break.

"Wait, what? In order to post more things to the blog, you're going to... uh, stop posting on the blog?"

Yeah, but it makes sense, I promise. Just bear with me a few more lines here, please.

In case you don't know, I'm getting married, like ridiculously soon (10 days from when this post will go live). And because of that I've been super-busy and super-stressed. Whoever said that planning a wedding is supposed to be the best time of your life, should be shot.
As a result of all of this business and stressing, my blog has suffered. See, we've come full circle, and I promise I'll get to my point soon.

Right now I work 20-29 hours a week at my "real" job, I have two other jobs that I go to once a week and I do volunteer work on Tuesdays. My fiance and I are also in the process of moving into our new apartment (also, not super-fun). On top of all that, I'm putting the final touches on planning the wedding and trying to have some semblance of a social life (hahahahahaha). Like I said, stress.

So now you know why you're only getting a measly 2 posts per month over here. I just don't have enough hours in my day to seriously devote time to blogging, and I feel like that's not fair to my readers.

So like I said at the beginning of all this madness, I'm taking a hiatus.

I will be gone for the month of August. 

I plan to be back exactly on September 1st, with a brand new review to make it up to you guys. I don't want you folks out there to feel unloved, but I need a little break. After the wedding (and the honeymoon!) things will have settled down tremendously in my "real" life, and I should be able to have time to breathe once in a while.

Please note, I'm only taking a break from blogging. I will still be on twitter and checking my e-mail, so you can reach me @SeptimusReviews, or e-mail me: SeptimusReviews@gmail.com.

So, September 1st, be back here for an awesome new review (one I've been planning for a long time!) and after that things will really pick up. Really.

And maybe I'll even get my mother off my back! Well, a girl can dream, can't she?

See you in September! 

:o)

C-C-C-Changes

Hello there wonderful lovely folks! How are you on this fine June day?

I just wanted to throw together a quick post to talk about some of the changes you've all been noticing on the blog. Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong... probably.

Let's get right to it, shall we?

First, and biggest, I've moved! Domains that is. Yup, that's right, I've got my very own, brand-spanking-new domain name now! Right at the top of the page! Did you notice it? Did ya? 'Cause I couldn't shut up about it on twitter. :o) What can I say? I'm excited. It's like a milestone for me in terms of my blogging and reviewing. I sort of started out reviewing as something fun to do in my spare time. But over the past few months I've gotten much more serious about it, and I'm honestly just having too much fun to quit now. Buying my domain is a way for me to show that I plan to be doing this for a while.

Next (and not quite as exciting) you might have noticed my shiny new social media buttons right over there in the side bar. Clicking on them will take you right to my RSS feed (you should subscribe! Was that subtle enough?), my twitter account, and my facebook page.

Which brings me to my next piece of news... I've got a facebook page now! It's at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Septimus-Reviews/459266304155130?fref=ts, which is long and awkward to type, so go ahead and just click on the shiny new button (come on, you know you want to!). And while you're there, you can "like" the page if you want to. Which means that every time I post a new blog entry, or share something super-duper cool, it'll pop up in your "timeline". You won't have to check the blog obsessively (like you do), to see new posts and reviews anymore!

But, if you do hit F5 like it's going out of style, then you've probably noticed something else new, namely, my GoodVibes banner! I'm now part of their affiliate program, and I'd absolutely love it if you used my affiliate link when getting some goodness over there. You can do that by clicking on their banner (and isn't it a pretty one?), or clicking on their link under the "Stores I Love to Support" list! Again, I do get a commission from these sales, but it's not paying my rent or anything, so don't sweat it if you're not interested. Although they're just a really cool store in general, and you should support them, you know, 'cause they're cool and junk.

Well, I think that just about wraps things up for now. I've probably bored you fine people to death already anyways. But if I haven't, and you're still hanging in with me...

Stay tuned for some exciting reviews coming up over the rest of the month. I'm going to be reviewing the weirdest toy it has ever been my pleasure to own (and that includes my tentacle), La Tour est Folle! I will also (hopefully) be reviewing a brand new vibe by FunFactory (courtesy of edenfantasys). And, if I have enough time between Works and wedding planning, I'll be reviewing that tentacle I mentioned.

Alright, scram. No loitering! :o)

National Masturbation Month!

Happy National Masturbation Month! I know I'm a little bit late to the party (fashionably late, as I like to think of it), but May is, you guessed it: National Masturbation Month!
Let me say it again, because I really like the way it sounds:

National Masturbation Month!

Ah, doesn't that just sound awesome? And it really is. After all, masturbation is sex with someone you love. Okay okay, I know that's cliche. But there really are advantages to masturbating. Like what? you ask. Good question.
First of all, masturbation is the safest form of sex you can have. You're not going to catch anything, and no one's going to get knocked up.
It's also free! There are obviously more expensive options (ie toys), but almost everybody already comes with the basic equipment they'll need to get started! (your hands/fingers can really be your best friends. Especially if you live in a crowded dorm or don't want to spend money on toys.)

But you don't have to take my word for it. There are lots of more reputable (at least, more reputable than some random blogger on the internet... hi!) sources who'll totally back me up on this one.

Like:

Planned Parenthood, who advocate for masturbation as the safest form of sex out there.

And Scarleteen, where you can find lots of fabulous information about how to masturbate. Their site is primarily aimed at teens and preteens, but it's got loads of wonderful information that's great for all of us. Seriously, who couldn't use a refresher about masturbation?

Also, did you know that masturbating can help you lose weight? At least it can if you're replacing snacking with orgasming! Meet the Orgasm Diet! Started by NymphomaniacNess, some of us on twitter (like SugarCunt and others) got really into it and decided to join up.
You can participate too! It's really easy: Instead of reaching for that slice of delicious delicious cake, reach for a dildo instead, and have yourself an orgasm!* (hmm, idea for a new series of YouTube videos... Cake vs. Dildo! There can be only one!)

If you'd like to participate, check it out on twitter!

And finally, in honor of National Masturbation Month, I wanted to give a shout out to a brand new non-profit that is working hard to make sure that our orgasms are safer orgasms.

Dildology is a brand new company that will be testing the materials of different toys and products to let us as consumers know just what exactly is going into our collective vaginas. As they point out, the sex toy industry is unregulated. There's no FDA to prevent companies from masking dangerous chemicals and materials behind the banner of "100% Silicone!". Thus, Dildology was born. I'll be writing more about them soon, but I wanted to give you guys a brief intro here. Go check them out!


Okay, that's it for now, but I've got a lot more cool stuff planned for the rest of the month. I'm hoping to have 2 new reviews up, plus the most awesomest "Mail-Call" post yet. Stay tuned! I'll also be writing more about Dildology, and why we should all get behind their mission statement!

And finally, I will leave you with this:

It makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

Why are you still reading? I'm done. Go masturbate!




*I can't actually promise that you'll lose weight this way. I'm not a doctor or even a health care professional  I'm a blogger and have no reputable credentials (haven't we been over that before?). But I can promise you that it'll be a hell of a lot more fun than most other diets out there. While all of your friends are counting calories to get in shape for bikini season you'll be having orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. I think you'll agree that that's more fun.

I'm Affiliated!

Over the last few weeks some of you might have noticed some changes taking place here at the blog. If so, you're very observant, good for you (no, you can't have a cookie, I ate them all...).

One of those changes is a little banner over at the side of the blog (in⇒direction). It looks like a banner, it smells like a banner, it even tastes like a banner! But what it actually is.... is an affiliate link! Yes, that's right, an affiliate link! And it features the Fun Factory LayaSpot (review coming soon!)

But what is an affiliate link you ask? Good question, you're very smart (but seriously, no cookies, stop asking)! The link allows you to buy products from edenfantasys (toys, lubes, lingerie  whatever your dirty little heart desires), and it allows me to get a small kick-back from that sale.

Full disclosure:  this is a way for me to make some sweet sweet $$$ off of this blog.

But don't worry, you don't have to pay $0.01 extra on your purchase, and in fact, you don't have to purchase anything at all if you don't want to. I won't be hurt, I promise (I'll just be over here in the corner sulking...). On the other hand, if you do feel like buying one of the products I've featured in a review (or anything else, for that matter), I would appreciate it if you'd like to use my affiliate link, because I'll get a small kick-back. And we're talking really small here folks, about 20%. So if you're buying I Love Female Orgasm (which I highly recommend ) for $15.99, I'll get a kick-back of somewhere around $3.20.
In case you can't tell, I'm not really in this blogging business for the money. Sure an extra 3 bucks here and there would be nice, but I'm not going to starve without it, and I don't want any of you to feel pressured to make a purchase.
I just wanted to let you guys know that it's an option, and if you feel so inclined as to use it, that's great. If not? That's totally fine too. I love you folks anyway.

Seriously, big kisses!

Feed Me?

Hey there loyal readers! Just a quick bit of site newsiness before we jump into more reviews!

The blog now has a lovely little orange button in its top right-hand corner. Isn't it lovely? But this button is more than mere decoration, it serves a purpose, I promise you.

SlightlyTickled (of Just Play With It...) sent me this message on twitter a few days ago:

Not surprisingly (because I am fairly clueless when it comes to blog-things), this was my response:

So I did! What that pretty orange button does is allow you to subscribe to my blog! You can get updates (and more new reviews, I promise) in your very own RSS reader (I use Google Reader, but that's just me)!

So go ahead, make my day, subscribe to the blog, and you can be the first (or the second or third, or maybe fourth?) to see new and exciting posts like:

• my prettied-up review of Evolved's Desire
• my brand-new review of LELO's Luna Bead Pleasure System (isn't that a fancy name?)    and
• Randy (AKA The Beast)

*UPDATE* 

Since I got some sweet-ass social media buttons, I moved the "Subscribe to RSS" button down a bit. It's still there, and it's still orange, it's just now nestled between my facebook button and my twitter button! Check 'em all out!

Tweeting & YouTubing

Alright, time for some more site stuff and then we'll get to the reviews, I promise.

Some of you already know this, but for those of you who don't (you know, the other 7 billion of you), I'm on twitter! Yes twitter, that bastion of social media, how could I resist it?
Well, the short answer is, I couldn't. And I didn't really want to. Being on twitter is going to allow me to connect with so many wonderful people and companies that I might not otherwise have been able to meet. I've already following some of my favorite reviewers and companies, and I've been meeting so many amazing people (and having the best/weirdest conversations).
If you'd like to get in on some of this weirdness, you can find me on twitter @SeptimusReviews, or there's a nifty little button right here on the bottom of the blog. Just scroll allllllll the way down and click. Go on, you know how to click, don't you? You just put your lips together and... no wait, that's something else. Never mind.

The other piece of site-related news that I wanted to share with you lovely folks is that I'm also on YouTube now! I've created a "channel" there so that I can post any videos I might make. So far I've just got the little teaser video I put together for my Ina 2 review. But in the future I hope to be able to put together video reviews and product demos (like I sometimes see over at edenfantasys or on toy company's websites). I personally love being able to see how strong/fast a vibe is in a video before I commit to spending my own hard earned cash on it.
So come find me over at the 'Tube, watch some videos (video) and leave a comment or two. I promise I'll love you forever if you do! :o)

That's it for right now. I know these posts aren't very fun and ya'll are just dying to get back to the fun stuff, am I right? So the next post (unless something bizarre comes up in the meantime, and it just might) will be my review of LELO's Ina 2!

Stay tuned!

Labeling Laws

Hey again everyone!

I just wanted to let you guys know that all of my posts now have labels! Even though I'm not a fan of them in real life they can be darned helpful on a blog.

So far the labels I have are limited to describing what actually is in a post. For example, my review of the Pure Wand is labeled "nJoy, Dildos, Review" etc. Get the picture? I knew you would, you're smart.

Other bloggers I love have such wonderful and imaginative tags for their posts. Hey Epiphora has wonderful tags like: Did Humans Even Test This? and Not For The Faint of Vagina on her blog. I envy her.

But for now, my tags will remain boring. I hope that they will at least be useful though. I think that they will, as I can already see how the system is allowing me to organize my posts more and find things quickly (this isn't really an issue now, as I don't have much content on the site yet, but I hope to fix that soon).

Alright, that's all folks. See ya soon with more reviews and such!

Pages

Hey there!

You might not have noticed it, but my blog has more than one page now! Yup, that's right. If you'll look to the top of the screen (go ahead, I'll wait) you'll see three new tabs!

The first tab says HOME and it's exactly what you think it is, the home page of the blog. This is where you can see new posts, reviews and videos.

The next tab says LIST OF REVIEWS (I'm creative, aren't I?) and again, it's what you think it is. This is a complete list of all of the reviews I've done so far, with links included. So far I only have the items separated into two categories (toys and books), but that might change further down the line.

The third tab that you see says ABOUT and it contains some information about yours truly (including how to contact me, if you so desire)!

Well, that's it for now folks. Keep an eye on this space for my review of LELO's Ina 2, which should be coming any day now. If, however, you just can't wait for my review, you can check out this little teaser video I put together the other day.

Also keep an eye on the side-bar, where you'll see a list of my upcoming reviews.

Stay frosty folks!