Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Paloqueth Sonic Sucking Vibrator


       Have you ever seen a toy and wondered if it would hurt or feel amazing? Because that’s what was running through my head when I first saw the Paloqueth Sonic Sucking Vibrator. I was intrigued both by the shape and the claims of intense “touch-free orgasms”. I had to have one, and Paloqueth was nice enough to send me one to review for ya’ll. So, without further ado…


The Sonic Sucking Vibrator


       First, let’s go over some basic stats and see what this thing looks like, shall we? It’s a sleek little thing, with soft purple silicone covering the part that you hold, and slightly stiff white silicone forming the bit that’s supposed to go around your clit (or nipple, or… whatever). There are two buttons (and I’ll get to them latter) that control the 7 patterns that you can cycle though. And that’s it. It’s a simple little toy without a lot of bells and whistles. It comes with instructions, and you’re encouraged to read through them, but it wasn’t all that hard to figure out what was supposed to go where.

The Paloqueth Sonic Sucking Vibrator on its fancy box

       I had to try it out almost immediately after I received it. So I went to my bedroom, put on some porn1 and got down to the serious business of getting myself off. I wasn’t sure if I should just… put the thing on my clit right away, or get myself a bit warmed up first, so I played around with a cordless wand I just got (more on that in another review!) before transitioning to the sonic sucker. And… holy crap. Here’s a direct quote from my wank journal2 from that day:

“I feel like it just sucked an orgasm out of my clit. It was really fast, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”


       The sonic sucker claims to mimic oral sex, and I don’t know how accurate that is, but it certainly does have a suction thing going for it. When you put the little white bit around your clit (or nipple, etc.) it creates sort of a weak seal, which in turn creates suction because of the little piece moving back and forth inside the mouth (for lack of a better word).


       Now, there’s no direct contact with your clit (except for the white mouth that sits around your clit), what’s providing the sensation is actually the air moving and vibrating around it. 



       Paloqueth claims that this lack of direct stimulation lets you have more orgasms in a row, and I’m not really sure how that’s supposed to work. For me it’s usually the intensity of any individual orgasm that determines if I’ll be up for more and the orgasms I’ve had with this little toy are… intense. There might only be a loose seal, but the suction is strong and it got me off very, very quickly. Almost too quickly. I’m glad I warmed myself up with another toy, otherwise that particular session would have been over way too quickly for my liking. I wish there was some way to change the intensity setting. I can kind of manage that by just holding it a little further away from my clit, but then the seal breaks and I’ve got nothing. 


       The patterns help a bit with the intensity problem. There are 7 patterns to cycle through, and I actually enjoyed most of them. I’m not usually a pattern person; I tend to like steady strong vibrations to get me off, but the patterns here were fun and provided some much needed respite from the very direct suction action. 

       To cycle through the patterns you press the little emoji button, which, while cute, is a bit confusing. Like I said, this is overall a straight-forward toy. I can figure out what it’s supposed to do without any instruction. What I couldn’t figure out though, was how to turn it on. Earlier on I said we’d get back to the buttons, so let’s tackle them now.

A close-up photo of the buttons. The top one has the standard "power" symbol,
while the bottom one has a "heart-eyes" emoji
       There are two buttons, a power button and an emoji button. In order to turn the thing on, you press the power button, which seems straightforward, but the toy doesn’t actually do anything until you push the little emoji button to start cycling through the patterns. I found this very confusing, and spent some time thinking that mine was broken because I couldn’t get anything to work. This isn’t great design. After using it a few times I finally noticed that the buttons light up when you press the power button, indicating that the toy is in fact working. But still, if you’re visually impaired or just using this under the covers where you can’t see it, it’s hard to know that it’s even on. 




       Over all, I liked this toy and I’ll continue using it. It’s waterproof, and I have yet to try it in the shower, which seems like a shame. I’ll have to get on that! And I want to let my partner play with it and see if he enjoys using it on me. I think he will.

       My feedback for Paloqueth is that this toy would greatly benefit from some way to control the intensity. I have fun playing around with it, but it’s just too intense for me. I almost feel like I’m being forced to come. Which, admittedly, is sometimes fun. It could also use a button upgrade. Again, I don’t like that I couldn’t figure out how to turn it on without looking at the instructions. And if a user has a visual impairment, this is going to be a very frustrating toy to use.




       Thank you again to Paloqueth for sending me this toy so that I could give you guys my honest review of it! If you want to pick one up for yourselves, you can do so here! And if you want to check out their other products, you can do that here.



1 CrashPad episode 264 for those of you who are interested

2 Does anyone else have one of these? I’d love to hear about it!