Brand 'Spanking' New Plunge Paddle!

Okay, so a little while ago I was innocently browsing twitter, when I saw this:

Plunge & Spank! The new Plunge Paddle by @Tantus is here! http://t.co/a11pciaGU8 pic.twitter.com/QWOtRkVOYm
— SheVibe.com (@shevibe) November 19, 2013

I was... intrigued. So I responded thusly:

@shevibe @tantus Now there's an interesting concept!
— SeptimusReviews (@SeptimusReviews) November 19, 2013

The next thing I knew, SheVibe was asking me if I wanted a Plunge Paddle of my very own to review! How could I possibly say no? (hint: I couldn't) And before I knew it, I had a Plunge Paddle in my hands to use & review! So, let's get to it, shall we?

The brand-spanking new Tantus Plunge Paddle!

The Plunge Paddle by Tantus is a brand new silicone paddle with one very interesting feature... (can you guess what it is?) *pause for dramatic effect*  you can fuck it! *blank stares* Okay, I'll explain. The handle of the plunge paddle is actually a fully insertable dildo, that you can use just like you would use any other dildo...

The aforementioned tag

As soon as we took it out of the box we were chasing each other around the apartment, smacking each other's asses and laughing like fools. Well actually, that's not quite true. As soon as we took the paddle out of its box we noticed a very odd smell. It wasn't very strong, just sort of unpleasant. I contacted Jenna over at Tantus and was told that the smell was actually coming from the little plastic tag that came attached to the toy. We quickly cut it off and washed the paddle, and then the smell went away fairly soon after that.


Immediately after that, we ran around the apartment smacking each other like crazy people. Okay, so maybe I should mention the fact that I've never actually used a paddle before (I've also never had one used on me before). My husband and I have always been into some very light BDSM (hand-spanking, light rope play etc), but we've never actually invested in any real equipment. Which is why I jumped (quite literally) at the chance to try out an actual real paddle!

One of the very first things I noticed about the paddle is how... wiggly it is! I guess I was expecting something very solid, so I was surprised to see just how much the flat end of the paddle can move. But it makes sense, that mobility provides for a good solid smack! Take a look:

Wiggly, isn't it? (My husband wanted to do a full analysis of its mechanical properties, but he seems to have forgotten everything he learned about wave dynamics...) And like I said, that wiggle translates into a very satisfying smack on whichever body part you choose.¹ Personally, I've found that I love being bent over the bed and smacked right on the ass with this bad boy, and luckily my husband seems to love smacking me. There's a nice loud 'thwack!' every time, and it leaves a very pleasant sting behind on my behind.

One of the things that I really love about this paddle is that it works well for people with different levels of spanking experience. If, like me, you're new to BDSM or just simply don't like a lot of pain (also like me), then this paddle will work wonders for you! With a little practice² you (or your partner) can really control just how hard the paddle is going to come down, making for a wide variety in the sensation level. So conversely, if you're into a little more hard-core level of sensation, you can get there with this paddle.

The dildo end of the Plunge Paddle

But this isn't just an instrument of pain, it's meant to deliver pleasure as well. At least, it's meant to... The handle end of the paddle is a dildo, used for dildo-ing purposes. In theory, I love this feature. In practice uh, not so much. I'm going to be honest here, I've only used the handle part of the toy a few times. And it's not because holding onto the paddle in order to fuck yourself is awkward (though it kind of is), it's because of that hole...

Ugh, that hole...

Do you see it? Right there in the "head" of the dildo-end? It's where the tag was attached when we got the toy, but other than that, I really have no clue as to why there's a big old hole in the end of my dildo. Now, the walls of my vag aren't normally super-sensitive. I mean, I like some nice texture about as much as the next gal, but I'm not usually bothered be seems on toys or anything like that. But this silly little hole... UGH! I can't get over it. Not only can I feel it with every single thrust, it hurts! It's super uncomfortable. The first time I tried it, I had to tell my husband to stop after only a few moments, I just couldn't get myself to enjoy it.


Now I'm fully prepared to admit that this might just be me. You might get the Plunge Paddle and absolutely love getting fucked with it! Good for you, go for it! It's just not for me. Which is a shame, because the shape and length of the dildo end really look wonderful, and I really wish that I could love it as much as I want to. Luckily, the odd hole has zero impact on what an awesome spanking implement this is. So while I can't enjoy this paddle's every intended use, I can still love it for the amazing paddle that it is. Since the entire thing is "Ultra-Premium" silicone, it can of course be boiled to sterilize. As for keeping lint (and/or cat hair) off of it... heh heh, good luck!


If you'd like a Plunge Paddle of your very own, may I recommend SheVibe?

Thank you again to SheVibe, for sending me the Plunge Paddle in exchange for my honest review! Love you guys! :o)

<sup>1. For some odd reason, I actually really love being lightly smacked on the back with the paddle. It's like a massage. :o)
2. Practice makes perfect!</sup>

Beware the Kraken!

You're sitting alone in your apartment, maybe watching some TV, maybe reading a book. Suddenly you think you can hear some music, seeming to come from nowhere, and every where at the same time. You look up. "Hello?" you call out, "is anybody there?" The music is getting louder, it almost sounds like... no, it couldn't be... could it? Your heart starts to race, the music is getting louder and louder, and now you're absolutely certain that yes, it is the theme from Jaws.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see something cresting in the water (which is weird because there isn't usually an ocean in your apartment). Just as you open your mouth the scream it surfaces and you see that it's... a tentacle?

But not just any tentacle, a WhipSpider Rubberworks Tentacle!

This tentacle is easily one of the most beautiful toys that I own. The craftsmanship is exquisite, and it's very obvious that the folks over at Whipspider Rubberwoks take a lot of pride in their toys.

I've had my eye on this tentacle pretty much since I started getting involved with sex toys. I'll admit that at first I found it strange and bizarre, and I still think that both of those adjectives apply. But now, those are my adjectives, I love strange and bizarre. After seeing countless "life-like" dildos, it's always nice to see something a little bit different. And it doesn't get much more different than a tentacle now does it?

Now I know that tentacles might not be your thing, but hear me out, okay? Because this isn't just a work of art (though it certainly is that), it's also a highly functional dildo which can bring you endless oceans of pleasure (see what I did there?).

The tentacle is just about 6.5" if you measure from the base to the tip, but as you can see in the picture, it had a wicked curve (the better to hit your G-spot with) to it, so overall the length is more like 7-7.5" depending on how stretched out it is.

The girth also varies from about 3.25" in circumference at the tentacle's very tip to about 7" right before the flared base (the base is shaped like an oval, 2" x 3" in diameter). I know, that seems like a lot, and it is. If you're not into girthy toys, then this probably isn't the tentacle for you.¹

Like all Whipspider Rubberworks toys, the tentacle is made of 100% soft squishy (lint-loving) silicone. It's completely non-porus, and can safely be shared once it's been sterilized. (I recommend boiling it, and then standing over the pot and saying "mmm, calamari!")

But enough about specs, you guys probably want to know how this monster (sea-monster?) feels! Well, it feels a-mazing! See all of those little suction cups in the photo? They provides the walls of my vag with some much loved stimulation. If you're a fan of different and unique textures, you'll love this one! I can almost feel every single one of those cups when I'm getting fucked with the tentacle.
Speaking of fucking, because the toy is curved I sometimes have to sort of... twist the thing to get it in. And while that can be a little tiring for my wrists, it's soooo worth it! I end up reduced to a puddle of goo at the hands of the tentacle's twisty-textury-G-spotty goodness.

Sounds pretty good so far right? And I haven't even gotten to my favorite part yet.... Are you ready for it? Ready...? The tentacle GLOWS IN THE DARK! And when I say it glows, it GLOWS! It took me a bazillion tries to get a decent picture, but I had to let you guys see for yourselves just how awesome this thing looks:

Amazing huh? When I first got it, I literally couldn't stop staring. I mean, the colors of the tentacle are stunning to begin with, but then you take it in the dark and... Guh! Can't stop staring!

Okay... TL:DR, I love this toy! I love the shape, the color and the texture. I love that it glows in the dark, and I love that it's a freakin' tentacle (but I'm weird like that). I love that this is a toy that exists, and that I can own.

Are you sold yet? You can get one of your own direct from Whipspider Rubberworks for $79.99 (plus shipping, I'm assuming). Or check out all of the other cool/odd/awesome stuff they have. Want a butt-plug shaped like one of the Easter Island heads? They've got you covered.

Happy tentacle-ing!




P.S. For those of you who are wondering, yes, I have been listening to a lot of 'Welcome to Night Vale' lately, how could you tell?

^{1. Whipspider Rubberworks does make a more slender version of the tentacle, called (appropriately enough) the Slender Tentacle. According to their web-site, the base of that tentacle is only about 2.25" in diameter. ↩}

I Found Nirvana

...and it was in my night-stand this whole time! Well, maybe not the whole time. More like a month or so. And it's not actually Nirvana, but something damned close. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here, but what else is new? Alright, before I get too far into this craziness, let's get the old 'opening spiel' over with... I'm going to be reviewing (for your reading pleasure) the:

Nirvana Cobalt Glass Dildo

by Prisms Erotic Glass

I'm a huge fan of glass toys, and I desperately wish that I owned more of them. There's something so wonderful and unique about glass that just can't be equaled by any other material. Now you might be thinking "glass, oh hell no! no was is something made out of glass going in my vagina!". I get it, I really do. I was just like you a few years ago; skeptical, doubting, afraid. But I (and my vagina) have since embraced glass for the wonder that it is.

Glass is a perfectly safe choice of material (certainly safer than icky jelly toys). Glass is non-porous and can therefore be sterilized. The one thing you do have to be careful of when it comes to glass dildos is breaking them! I've heard horror stories of beloved toys that had to be tossed because they were cracked or chipped. While a glass toy is completely safe to use internally, a chipped or cracked toy is NOT. Luckily, most glass toys (including the Nirvana) come with at least a small velvet pouch to store the toy in. Some even come with padded bags, which is awesome, because you really don't want these toys bumping-uglies in your toy-drawer!¹ But still, be careful with your glass folks, especially if you love the toy as much as I love this one.

And how much do I love the Nirvana Cobalt? Let me count the ways:

1. It's glass, which I've already stated is an amazing choice of material. Unlike silicone (which, obviously, I also love), glass slides with little or no lube and provides for a much smoother thrust.
2. It's got these fabulous bulbs:

which feel absolutely amazing inside me. I love thrusting them in slowly, so I can feel each individual bulb as it slides in, opening me up.
3. It's blue! I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I love any toy that's not pink! Not that there's really anything wrong with pink, I'm just annoyed at the over saturation of the sex-toy market with all things pink and purple. (It's a not-so-secret goal of mine to own a green sex toy)

Look at this gorgeous blue color!

4. And finally, the price is right. At only $20, the Nirvana is fairly cost-effective. I've not going to break the bank, like some of my other favorite toys

Now, I'm not one of those lucky, lucky girls who can come from penetration alone (at least, not typically), but I feel like the Nirvana almost brings me there. While it isn't at all curved, I feel like the bulbous end of the dildo does press lightly against my G-spot if I thrust at exactly the right angle. I wouldn't recommend this as a G-spotting toy, it's not designed as one, and doesn't provide nearly enough pressure. But the light, almost teasing, touches are still very enjoyable. I think that's one of the reasons why the Nirvana has become my go-to dildo for quick masturbation sessions. There's not a lot of prep-work since I don't have to use much lube (or any at all, most times) and it gets me off (in combination with a clit-vibe) pretty damned quick! I also occasionally use it for a slow session of thrusting and building up my arousal; my fiance certainly enjoys torturing me with it.

But maybe you guys don't come here just to listen to me gush about my toys. Maybe you want some actual stats. Fine, you guys are really so demanding:

• Weighing in at ~0/6 lbs, the Nirvana isn't exactly a light toy, but it's not heavy enough that you'll break your wrist while thrusting.
• And with ~5.25" of insertable length, it shouldn't scare anyone off either.
• The base is just about 1.75" in diameter, and is technically anal-safe, though I am not quite adventurous enough (yet) to try it in my ass.
• The bulbs of the toy are all just about 1.125" in diameter, and the depressions between them are 1", which means that you can really feel each one as it slides home.

I think that about wraps it up for Nirvana. Bottom line: I love this dildo. It's made of one of my favorite materials, has amazing bulbs (that feel fab in my vag) and is a gorgeous color! What more could you want out of life? Food and shelter? Nah, you only need orgasms. 

Want one of your own? (a toy, not the orgasm, though it should follow!) You can pick one up at Looks-Like-Sex.com! 

---

1If you want to know more about the care and keeping of glass toys, you should really check out my buddy Naughty Reenie's post on the subject. And tell her I say hi!^↩

The Nirvana Cobalt was given to me in exchange for my honest review by looks-like-sex.com, thanks again Jessica!

The Tower is Crazy!

*NOTE* This review has been made possible thanks to Google translate.

Alright, here's the story behind this review (because lately it seems like all my reviews have a back-story). A while back I saw this Crazy Thing on Pinterest, and immediately pinned it to my "What this is, I don't even..." board. It was that strange looking. So of course, I had to find out if I could get my perverted little paws on one. Long story short, I could, and I did. So I now bring you...

La tour est Folle

Yes, it's exactly what it looks like.

Loosely translated (and I do mean loosely) the toy is: The Tower is Crazy. I've been calling it "the Tower" for short. Why "the Tower"? Because it's a dildo of the Eiffel Tower, of course! This is easily the most unique dildo that I own, and I still can't get over the shape!

At it's heart, the Tower is a basic straight dildo made out of PVC, which is not my favorite¹ material, but I can accept it if I have to.
*CORRECTION* 6-19-13
Like I mentioned at the start of this review, I'm doing this with the help of Google translate, and probably not surprisingly, some mistakes were made. The Tower is not made out of PVC, but TPU which is a non-porous and hypo-allergenic.
The inside of the Tower is completely hollow, which makes this a surprisingly light toy. Now, when it comes to G-spotting toys, I like heavy. But for straight-dildos, lighter is gooder. It means I can thrust for a long time without my wrists getting sore.

I can see all the way to Paris!

And with about 6.25" of insertable length, thrusting is something I'm totally doing! I never thought I'd say this about a straight-up straight dildo, but I actually really love the way this one feels! It's smooth and soft and provides a great filling sensation with its 4" circumference (measured right below the "head" of the Tower). The head is very slightly bulbous, which I personally like. It's got a circumference of 4.25" inches, which is a slight enough difference to not be over challenging. There is a very small seam right under the "head" which is easily felt with your finger-tips, but honestly, I didn't feel it at all when the toy was inside of me. There are other seams on the base of the tower, but since I really don't think you're supposed to put that part inside of yourself, it shouldn't be a problem.

Don't put this part in your vag please

Speaking of having this thing inside of me... I like it! It is a genuinely pleasant experience. I'm going to be honest and say that I don't often use dildos on my own when I masturbate. My go-to toys tend to be vibes, because there's less thrusting and more insta-gasms. But this is a dildo that I can and do use on my own. The "windows" in the base of the tower are perfect for me to slide my fingers into, so instead of thrusting in and out, like I would with a more traditional dildo, I can actually pull the Tower into my vag! I love that! It's a unique way of masturbating (at least for me), and I'm a fan of this method.
And never fear, the Tower is partner-friendly too! Again, it's the "windows" that give a great place to grip and thrust without getting sore wrists.

The only issue that I seem to have so far with the Tower, is that it's a bit long for my tastes. I can sometimes feel the bulbous tip poking at my cervix if I get a little too enthusiastic. I think that's because of the pulling motion that I use (as described above, remember?), and it probably depends on where I am in my cycle² But other than that, I've found fucking the Eiffel Tower to be a very pleasant experience. And there's a sentence I never thought I would type.

Since I know some of you are looking at this toy and wondering "can I put that in my ass?" (and I love you guys for it), the answer is a tentative yes. Because of the flared base, this should be an anal safe toy. However, because PVC is a porous material, it will pick up some nasty stuff over time, so you might want to use a barrier like a condom for anal play, and never never never go ass-to-vag without changing the condom. You really don't want to be bringing the local ass-bacteria into your vag, it doesn't belong there and it will not be happy.

My two Towers :o)

So I think that just about wraps it up for the Tower. Now, I know what you're all going to ask next, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. The Tower is not available in the States, yet. The company is still trying to get a lot of publicity, and to build up a client-base. If you want to know more, you should check them out at their facebook page, and say hi to Sebastien for me!

When it becomes available, I'll let you guys know and update the post with a link to buy one. Because really, who wouldn't want to fuck the Eiffel Tower?

*UPDATE* 12-2-13
Hey guys! I just heard that the tower will soon be available for purchase in the U.S.! I'll keep you posted!

The Tower was provided to me for free in exchange for my honest review! Thank you again to Sebastien Lecca for sending it to me and putting up with all of my questions! I enjoyed my "trip" to Paris.

1 Usually, I only use/review toys that are made out of 100% non-porous materials like silicone, glass and steel; but I made an exception for the Tower. Partially because my French is rusty (read: non-existent), and I wasn't actually sure what the toy's material was before I got it, and partially because I just couldn't resist a dildo shaped like the freakin' Eiffel Tower! 
*NOTE* See corrections above.^↩

2 Some people menstruate, get over it. :oP^↩

International Mail-Call!

Welcome to the "International" edition of Mail-Call!

I've gotten some truly awesome stuff in the mail over the last week, and I'm psyched to finally be able to share it with you guys!

First up, all the way from Switzerland (a mere 4,100 miles from my humble home) is the iGino! The iGino is a clit vibe currently being crowd-funded, and one I'm psyched to get to test and review!

Looks just like an iPhone, doesn't it? ...

Then, from a little bit closer to home (at only about 3,900 miles) is La Tour est Folle all the way from, you guessed it, France! I think the picture here speaks for itself...

Guess what this one's supposed to be...

I'm so excited to get to review these toys and share my thoughts with you guys. You can keep an eye out for my review of the iGino sometime before the end of this month, and my review of la tour should be up in June!

Bonus Picture:

The people in customs probably had a good chuckle over this one :o)

Leo-Weenie!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

It Came From The Deep!

Now I told myself that I wasn't going to have any more posts in March (except for one that's already scheduled - stay tuned!), but I had to share this with you guys.

*cue music from Jaws*

Duh-duh.

Duh-duh.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH!

It came from the deapths of the ocean! Nah, I'm just fooling with you. I got it from edenfantasys!

It's the Whipspider Rubberworks Tentacle, and I've been drooling over it for literally ages. It just came in the mail today, and I've already had a chance to test it out, that's how desperate I was to own this beauty. Don't worry a review will be coming (sometime in April or early May, I hope!), so stay tuned for that!

P.S. If you're having a hard time remembering the Jaws theme, don't worry! It's on YouTube! 

Truly Terrifying...

Sorry for posting twice in one day (again), but something just came in the mail that I simply had to share with you folks!

For the past several years I've been lusting after Vixen's Randy and today, after months of saving and days of tracking my shipment (seriously, why did they invent those things, I just refresh them endlessly, I'm obsessive like that), it has arrived!

Now if this doesn't scare you, no evil thing will. Wish me luck folks, I'm going to need it. And of course, I'll be posting a review when (if) I ever conquer this beast of a dildo.

Again, luck (and an especially elastic vagina) please.

The Closest I've Ever Come...

This is the second review that I ever wrote and first appeared over at EdenFantasys, where you can still check it out and vote on it.

Pure Wand by nJoy

First of all, before I start this review properly, there's something that you should know about me. I have never had an orgasm without something (or someone) touching my clit. Never-ever. I wish that I could pause here dramatically and say... "until now!" but alas, that simply wouldn't be true. But that's not to say that the Pure Wand isn't a fantastic toy, it really is, and I'm going to try to convey that to you in this little review.

The Pure Wand is made by nJoy, and comes in this fabulous box, which it turn comes in a very nice sleeve.
I was immediatly impressed by the packaging, because I think that the attention that a company pays to these kind of details (how well the packaging is made and presented) suggests attention to detail when it comes to making quality toys

The toy itself is very, very heavy. It reminds me of those Mag-Lites that my camp counselors used to threaten us misbehaving campers with every summer. It's 3 lbs of solid stainless steel, which this site (EdenFantasys) describes as "a ferrous alloy with a minimum of 10.5% chromium content." The larger head has a diameter of 1 1/2" and a circumference of 5 whopping inches. The small head has a diameter of 1", and a circumference of 3.14159" (my fiance points out that the circumference is actually 3.14" because there are only 3 sig-figs on his calipers...).

The stainless steel is a great material in many ways. It's smooth and seamless, which is always a plus when you're going to be inserting something somewhere sensitive (trust me on that one). It's super easy to clean and can be sterilized, which means that you don't have to use a condom with this toy if you're planning on sharing it with a friend or partner. You just need to boil the toy between uses.

Another great feature of stainless steel is that if you're into temperature play, this thing can get really friggin' cold. This is something that's important to remember even if you're not into temperature play (actually, especially if you're not into temperature play), steel gets cold people! Please keep this in mind before you insert it into any of your orifices! It does warm up fairly quickly though (I suggest a nice soak in some mildly hot water), and will of course warm up as you use it.


Experience:


I had heard bards sing epic ballads about the greatness of the Pure Wand. It is sometimes claimed by those in the know that the Pure Wand is the toy mentioned in the mysterious 'lost' passages of Chaucer's The Miller's Tale. This is truly a toy of legendary proportions...

Okay, I'm exaggerating here folks, but not by a lot. Pretty much everyone that I talk to about sex toys heavily praises the Pure Wand. It is known as the toy for G-spotting. So, I figured I would try it out, what have I got to lose, right?

So I bought myself the Pure Wand, desperately hopping that the whopping $107.99 I shelled out (for about 41.50 worth of steel I might add) would be worth it. And honestly, I have to say that it is! I started out with the smaller end, inserting it so that the large head curved up toward my belly-button. I was able to find my G-spot fairly easily even with the small head, and the cool steel felt amazing pressing up against it. I thrusted a few times experimentally and I practically jumped out of the bed. I had never in my life experienced such intense sensations coming from my G-spot. Clit, yes. G-spot, no, never before. I immediately switched to the larger head and I was not disappointed! The sensations were just as intense, but almost felt magnified over a slightly larger area.

For the first few moments I kind of felt like I had to pee, but since I had read that this was normal (and I'd already taken care of that) I was able to just relax and enjoy it. The weird 'have-to-pee' sensation passed fairly quickly and melted into an amazing pleasure.

I had read (and heard plenty of stories about) women who could actually ejaculate just by thrusting with the Pure Wand, and I was so excited to do that. But alas, it wasn't mean to be. I've tried several different angles and positions, and while they all feel phenomenal, none of them has allowed me to be able to squirt like I'd dreamed of. But that's okay - I'm not alone. I set up a little informal poll over on the forums (at EdenFantasys), and 18 people were kind enough to weigh in on the issue. 61% of them said that they were not able to come just by thrusting with the Pure Wand, but that it was still a very enjoyable experience (28% of people did claim to not only be able to come, but to squirt too!).

While I'm still holding out hope that one day I will be able to achieve an orgasm just by thrusting it up against my G-Spot, I'm not going to let that goal ruin my enjoyment of the toy. Moral of the story? Even if you can't come just by using this toy, you should still try it out! I promise you that it's an intense ride that you won't soon forget!

We looked it up, but couldn't find the Pure Wand in the AISC Steel Construction Manual (14th edition), but maybe it'll be in the 15th?

You can get your very own Pure Wand straight from nJoy, or from EdenFantasys.com.

*UPDATE*

(Originally posted several weeks after the initial review)

It's official, I want to change the title of my original review... Why you might ask? When I was writing my original review (after many happy experiments with nJoy's legendary toy), I had never yet been able to come without some form of clitoral stimulation. I had heard that it was possible to do so with the Pure Wand, and I wanted the title of my review to be a nod to that rumor/legend.

Now, however, I can say that it is not just rumor, not pure speculation. I have officially had a non-clitoral orgasm! And I owe it all to the Pure Wand. I'll admit that it took some time and some figuring out. I'm not well acquainted with my G-spot (so there was some maneuvering involved in trying to find the exact right placement of the toy), but I can already tell that we're going to be good friends. Now I haven't squirted or anything like that (yet), but I'm hoping that that's right around the corner for me.

If there are any women out there who doubt their ability to come from vaginal stimulation alone, I highly (very very very highly) recommend the Pure Wand. Buy it, play with it, learn something amazing about yourself and your body. And most of all, "nJoy" it!