Thursday, August 29, 2013

New "Review"

Hi there ladies and gentlemen! I know, I know, I'm supposed to be on vacation until September 1st (and I still am, really), but I got this new product and I just had to review it for you folks...
See, I've been out of the office (so to speak) because I was busy doing very important things, like, getting married. And in my wild adventures in marriage land, I see to have acquired a new sex-toy...
I'm calling it the...


Now, this "husband" that I've acquired is an item with a lot of pros and cons. It's for sure the most versatile toy I've ever owned and it has a range of special features! But of course, like any toy, there can be some drawbacks too. Like the fact that for some inexplicable reason this toy seems to generate a lot of mess. Like, more than you'd think one little toy could make. 

But let's start with the pros, shall we?

  • Gets me off almost every damn time!
    • The "Husband" is almost guaranteed to get me off! And on demand too! All I have to do is flash my tits at it, and it's ready to go! So convenient!
  • Has many lovely moving parts. 
    • It has a "tongue" and "fingers" and even a realistic penis to pleasure me with!
  • Is totally and 100% water-proof. 
    • In fact, it loves to pleasure me in the shower or the tub!
  • It makes me food!
    • Yes folks, you read that right! When this toy isn't giving me the most amazing orgasms, it's cooking me delicious dinners! Does it get better than that? I think not.

But like any toy that I've ever owned, the "Husband" has some lesser points too...

  • Only seems to know how to cook pasta.
    • And pasta-related dishes.
  • It makes a mess! 
    • I think I already said this but wow! This toy sure does get messy while it's getting me off!
  • Sometimes it wants to get me off when I'm not really in the mood.
    • This thing just can't keep its "hands" off of me! What have I gotten myself into?

Well, that's not really such a bad list, is it? Over-all this "Husband" toy is fabulous. I'm so very lucky to have gotten it, and I really do love it very much! Would I recommend it to others? Not this particular model, sorry but it's taken. :o)

I hope you folks didn't mind this little tongue-in-cheek "review", I really have fun writing it. Don't worry, I'll be back for "real" on September 1st and will resume my regularly scheduled reviews. I've got a few new toys and even some lube to review, so stay tuned.

And a special thank-you to my "Husband", for having such a good sense of humor. Love you Puppy!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Taking a Brief Hiatus

I know, I know. You see the word 'hiatus' and think: okay, well it was fun while it lasted, but there goes another blog. Ah well, such is life.

But it's not like that, I promise! I really will be back...

You might have noticed that over the last month or so my posts and reviews have been more and more infrequent. Instead of 10 posts per month, you're only getting 2... Granted, they're fabulous, but still, 2 posts just don't seem like quite enough to fill up the void.

And I want to do something about it, I really do. So what am I going to do? Well, I'm going to take a little break.

"Wait, what? In order to post more things to the blog, you're going to... uh, stop posting on the blog?"

Yeah, but it makes sense, I promise. Just bear with me a few more lines here, please.

In case you don't know, I'm getting married, like ridiculously soon (10 days from when this post will go live). And because of that I've been super-busy and super-stressed. Whoever said that planning a wedding is supposed to be the best time of your life, should be shot.
As a result of all of this business and stressing, my blog has suffered. See, we've come full circle, and I promise I'll get to my point soon.

Right now I work 20-29 hours a week at my "real" job, I have two other jobs that I go to once a week and I do volunteer work on Tuesdays. My fiance and I are also in the process of moving into our new apartment (also, not super-fun). On top of all that, I'm putting the final touches on planning the wedding and trying to have some semblance of a social life (hahahahahaha). Like I said, stress.

So now you know why you're only getting a measly 2 posts per month over here. I just don't have enough hours in my day to seriously devote time to blogging, and I feel like that's not fair to my readers.

So like I said at the beginning of all this madness, I'm taking a hiatus.

I will be gone for the month of August. 

I plan to be back exactly on September 1st, with a brand new review to make it up to you guys. I don't want you folks out there to feel unloved, but I need a little break. After the wedding (and the honeymoon!) things will have settled down tremendously in my "real" life, and I should be able to have time to breathe once in a while.

Please note, I'm only taking a break from blogging. I will still be on twitter and checking my e-mail, so you can reach me @SeptimusReviews, or e-mail me:

So, September 1st, be back here for an awesome new review (one I've been planning for a long time!) and after that things will really pick up. Really.

And maybe I'll even get my mother off my back! Well, a girl can dream, can't she?

See you in September! 



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