100 Followers!

I said that I would post something very silly on the blog if I got 100 followers on twitter. You guys came through on your end, so here you go:

100 followers, thank you all so much! You make my day! :o)

New "Review"

Hi there ladies and gentlemen! I know, I know, I'm supposed to be on vacation until September 1st (and I still am, really), but I got this new product and I just had to review it for you folks...
See, I've been out of the office (so to speak) because I was busy doing very important things, like, getting married. And in my wild adventures in marriage land, I see to have acquired a new sex-toy...
I'm calling it the...

"Husband"

Now, this "husband" that I've acquired is an item with a lot of pros and cons. It's for sure the most versatile toy I've ever owned and it has a range of special features! But of course, like any toy, there can be some drawbacks too. Like the fact that for some inexplicable reason this toy seems to generate a lot of mess. Like, more than you'd think one little toy could make. 

But let's start with the pros, shall we?

Pros:

• Gets me off almost every damn time!
• The "Husband" is almost guaranteed to get me off! And on demand too! All I have to do is flash my tits at it, and it's ready to go! So convenient!

• Has many lovely moving parts. 
• It has a "tongue" and "fingers" and even a realistic penis to pleasure me with!

• Is totally and 100% water-proof. 
• In fact, it loves to pleasure me in the shower or the tub!

• It makes me food!
• Yes folks, you read that right! When this toy isn't giving me the most amazing orgasms, it's cooking me delicious dinners! Does it get better than that? I think not.

But like any toy that I've ever owned, the "Husband" has some lesser points too...

Cons:

• Only seems to know how to cook pasta.
• And pasta-related dishes.

• It makes a mess! 
• I think I already said this but wow! This toy sure does get messy while it's getting me off!

• Sometimes it wants to get me off when I'm not really in the mood.
• This thing just can't keep its "hands" off of me! What have I gotten myself into?

Well, that's not really such a bad list, is it? Over-all this "Husband" toy is fabulous. I'm so very lucky to have gotten it, and I really do love it very much! Would I recommend it to others? Not this particular model, sorry but it's taken. :o)

I hope you folks didn't mind this little tongue-in-cheek "review", I really have fun writing it. Don't worry, I'll be back for "real" on September 1st and will resume my regularly scheduled reviews. I've got a few new toys and even some lube to review, so stay tuned.

And a special thank-you to my "Husband", for having such a good sense of humor. Love you Puppy!

National Masturbation Month!

Happy National Masturbation Month! I know I'm a little bit late to the party (fashionably late, as I like to think of it), but May is, you guessed it: National Masturbation Month!
Let me say it again, because I really like the way it sounds:

National Masturbation Month!

Ah, doesn't that just sound awesome? And it really is. After all, masturbation is sex with someone you love. Okay okay, I know that's cliche. But there really are advantages to masturbating. Like what? you ask. Good question.
First of all, masturbation is the safest form of sex you can have. You're not going to catch anything, and no one's going to get knocked up.
It's also free! There are obviously more expensive options (ie toys), but almost everybody already comes with the basic equipment they'll need to get started! (your hands/fingers can really be your best friends. Especially if you live in a crowded dorm or don't want to spend money on toys.)

But you don't have to take my word for it. There are lots of more reputable (at least, more reputable than some random blogger on the internet... hi!) sources who'll totally back me up on this one.

Like:

Planned Parenthood, who advocate for masturbation as the safest form of sex out there.

And Scarleteen, where you can find lots of fabulous information about how to masturbate. Their site is primarily aimed at teens and preteens, but it's got loads of wonderful information that's great for all of us. Seriously, who couldn't use a refresher about masturbation?

Also, did you know that masturbating can help you lose weight? At least it can if you're replacing snacking with orgasming! Meet the Orgasm Diet! Started by NymphomaniacNess, some of us on twitter (like SugarCunt and others) got really into it and decided to join up.
You can participate too! It's really easy: Instead of reaching for that slice of delicious delicious cake, reach for a dildo instead, and have yourself an orgasm!* (hmm, idea for a new series of YouTube videos... Cake vs. Dildo! There can be only one!)

If you'd like to participate, check it out on twitter!

And finally, in honor of National Masturbation Month, I wanted to give a shout out to a brand new non-profit that is working hard to make sure that our orgasms are safer orgasms.

Dildology is a brand new company that will be testing the materials of different toys and products to let us as consumers know just what exactly is going into our collective vaginas. As they point out, the sex toy industry is unregulated. There's no FDA to prevent companies from masking dangerous chemicals and materials behind the banner of "100% Silicone!". Thus, Dildology was born. I'll be writing more about them soon, but I wanted to give you guys a brief intro here. Go check them out!


Okay, that's it for now, but I've got a lot more cool stuff planned for the rest of the month. I'm hoping to have 2 new reviews up, plus the most awesomest "Mail-Call" post yet. Stay tuned! I'll also be writing more about Dildology, and why we should all get behind their mission statement!

And finally, I will leave you with this:

It makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

Why are you still reading? I'm done. Go masturbate!




*I can't actually promise that you'll lose weight this way. I'm not a doctor or even a health care professional  I'm a blogger and have no reputable credentials (haven't we been over that before?). But I can promise you that it'll be a hell of a lot more fun than most other diets out there. While all of your friends are counting calories to get in shape for bikini season you'll be having orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. I think you'll agree that that's more fun.

Weird Fun

I just wanted to put up a quick post to tell you guys that I'm having wa-hey too much fun with my 

Luna Beads (but not exactly the way you might think!)

Hello there Mr. Luna-Bead Eyes!

You guys already knew that I was weird, right?