Thursday, August 29, 2013

New "Review"

Hi there ladies and gentlemen! I know, I know, I'm supposed to be on vacation until September 1st (and I still am, really), but I got this new product and I just had to review it for you folks...
See, I've been out of the office (so to speak) because I was busy doing very important things, like, getting married. And in my wild adventures in marriage land, I see to have acquired a new sex-toy...
I'm calling it the...

"Husband"

Now, this "husband" that I've acquired is an item with a lot of pros and cons. It's for sure the most versatile toy I've ever owned and it has a range of special features! But of course, like any toy, there can be some drawbacks too. Like the fact that for some inexplicable reason this toy seems to generate a lot of mess. Like, more than you'd think one little toy could make. 

But let's start with the pros, shall we?

Pros:
  • Gets me off almost every damn time!
    • The "Husband" is almost guaranteed to get me off! And on demand too! All I have to do is flash my tits at it, and it's ready to go! So convenient!
  • Has many lovely moving parts. 
    • It has a "tongue" and "fingers" and even a realistic penis to pleasure me with!
  • Is totally and 100% water-proof. 
    • In fact, it loves to pleasure me in the shower or the tub!
  • It makes me food!
    • Yes folks, you read that right! When this toy isn't giving me the most amazing orgasms, it's cooking me delicious dinners! Does it get better than that? I think not.

But like any toy that I've ever owned, the "Husband" has some lesser points too...

Cons:
  • Only seems to know how to cook pasta.
    • And pasta-related dishes.
  • It makes a mess! 
    • I think I already said this but wow! This toy sure does get messy while it's getting me off!
  • Sometimes it wants to get me off when I'm not really in the mood.
    • This thing just can't keep its "hands" off of me! What have I gotten myself into?

Well, that's not really such a bad list, is it? Over-all this "Husband" toy is fabulous. I'm so very lucky to have gotten it, and I really do love it very much! Would I recommend it to others? Not this particular model, sorry but it's taken. :o)



I hope you folks didn't mind this little tongue-in-cheek "review", I really have fun writing it. Don't worry, I'll be back for "real" on September 1st and will resume my regularly scheduled reviews. I've got a few new toys and even some lube to review, so stay tuned.


And a special thank-you to my "Husband", for having such a good sense of humor. Love you Puppy!

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