Porn-ucational!

We have another first here on the blog! I'm going to be reviewing a porno for the very first time!
Now, full disclosure, porn hasn't always been my thing. I do occasionally watch some DVDs that I had laying around the house, but it's not really a go to for my masturbation sessions. This porn, however, is very different. I actually requested this DVD for review. Because, you see, this isn't just any old porno, it's the newest edition of...

Sexing the Transman XXX (vol 3)

by Buck Angel Entertainment

This movie is different than any other porno I've ever seen, and I definitely want to go out and get the first two volumes of the series to watch with my fiance! But before I get too carried away (yeah right, like that will ever happen) let me back up and start at the beginning...

Buck Angel is an adult film star, head of his own production company, and a transman! He fights for trans rights and puts out the most awesome PSAs about body acceptance and trans health issues. So it's probably not all that surprising that his porn has an educational spin to it!

The Sexing the Transman DVD has 5 scenes, three couples and two solo scenes. Each scene starts out with Buck interviewing the performer(s). They talk about, among other things, sexuality, transitioning and just trans life in general.
These interviews are so cool and provide real insights into what it's like to be a transperson. Surprise! Trans people have sex too! And if the DVD is anything to judge by, they have really hot sex!

At first I was a bit unsure about how to approach this review. Should I break the DVD down and review each scene one at a time? Or should I just put down my impressions of the film as a whole? Both seemed like viable options, and so in the end (in the spirit of true democracy [or something like it]), I decided to do both! I'm going to talk about why this movie as a whole is awesome (spoiler alert: I loved it!), and I'm also going to give some highlights from my favorite scenes. So let's get started, shall we?

The DVD starts out hot with a scene between Bleu, a transman, and Je his gender-queer partner. This scene was pretty cool because it is so obvious that Bleu and Je are real people. Not porn-stars who are dolled up in a ton and a half of makeup and look absolutely flawless from every angle. Real people, really fucking. There's some great chemistry between these two, and it's obviously that they really love fucking each other (probably why they're a couple in the frist place), and that translates into some hot on-screen sex. I wasn't a huge fan of the choking, but Je seemed to be really into it, and that in and of itself was hot to me. Also, lots of sucking of trans cock! 

Next up we have a solo-scene with Atlanta based transman, Rex. If you're into masturbation scenes, then this will totally be for you! Honestly, I found it hot but it wasn't really my thing. What I like about porn is watching two (or more) people going at it hot and heavy, so solo isn't really going to appeal to me as much. But that's just me! It was, however, really fun to watch the expression on Rex's face as he got himself off. Very cool. The only thing that disturbed me was the use of what I'm 90% certain was a jelly vibrator. Silicone man, silicone!

The solo-scenes are interspersed with the coupled scenes, so next up we have another real-life couple, Lola and Rude Boy. Now, what I loved more than anything else about this scene was the fact that both of them are trans! Lola is a transwoman, and Rude is a transman! How fucking cool is that? Porn doesn't get more inclusive folks! The sex was pretty damned hot too, with lots of nipple-sucking (from 2 different angles) and moaning. I especially loved when Rude started face-fucking Lola while she was going down on him. Hot! I wasn't really a huge fan of the kissing in this scene (of the face-sucking and lip-mashing variety), but again, I'm pretty sure that's just a personal preference.

Back to the solo-scene with Dicky, who lives his life as both a man and a woman. (We really need some good gender neutral pronouns, don't we? Get on that folks, okay?) Like most of the other scenes, this one started a bit slowly, with Buck coaxing Dicky into first taking off his shirt, and then getting progressively more naked. (Spoiler alert: naked is good). And then there was clit-pumping! Which I had honestly never seen before. How I've gotten to the ripe old age of *insert age here* without ever seeing a good old-fashioned clit pumping, I don't know. But I'm going to try to see more, that's for sure! It's a little like watching someone jack off with a crystal clear Fleshlight (which I would also like to see), and it was pretty damned hot! (Though I wasn't a fan of the spitting... ew).

And now for the grand finale: Buck and Sean! Yes, that's Buck as in Buck Angel, the man behind all of this madness. Unlike the other scenes, this one didn't start with an interview (probably because Buck was too busy fucking :oD), but rather just jumped straight into gay porn! Yay! My favorite! So much manly fucking, I could plotz! Yum. Although I could do without the very manly groaning, it was nice to see that everyone was at least having an excellent time! I think that the biggest difference between this DVD and mainstream hetero porn, is that here all of the performers seem to actually be enjoying themselves! What a novel concept! (more please!) Buck clearly enjoys being fucked! Also: Sean wears a condom throughout the scene! Yay for showcasing some really hot safe-sex! Way to go guys! This last scenes was the most "hard-core" of all of them. With tons of hard pussy-pounding and dirty talking (and grunting, so much grunting). It was a lot of fun to watch, and the one that I'm going to be getting my self off to many more times in the future!

Overall, this DVD was both hot and educational! Pornucational! (see what I did there?) Honestly, my favorite part of every scene was the interview. I loved hearing about the performer's life, transition and sex life. If you just want some straight-up fucking and aren't interested in listening to the interviews, that's cool too! You'll still really love this DVD, (here's a hint: you can fast-forward past the talking bits if that's what you want) but you'll be missing out on some of the best bits.

Would I recommend this DVD? The answer is emphatically: YES. This is a must-have DVD for anyone's collection, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a bit of a pack-rat. I actually threw out my other porn once I got Sexing the Transman. And if that's not the best recommendation ever, I don't know what is. :o)

Thank you to Buck Angel Entertainment for sending me this DVD in exchange for this honest review! You're an awesome guy Buck!

A Flash in the Pan

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The Tower is Crazy!

*NOTE* This review has been made possible thanks to Google translate.

Alright, here's the story behind this review (because lately it seems like all my reviews have a back-story). A while back I saw this Crazy Thing on Pinterest, and immediately pinned it to my "What this is, I don't even..." board. It was that strange looking. So of course, I had to find out if I could get my perverted little paws on one. Long story short, I could, and I did. So I now bring you...

La tour est Folle

Yes, it's exactly what it looks like.

Loosely translated (and I do mean loosely) the toy is: The Tower is Crazy. I've been calling it "the Tower" for short. Why "the Tower"? Because it's a dildo of the Eiffel Tower, of course! This is easily the most unique dildo that I own, and I still can't get over the shape!

At it's heart, the Tower is a basic straight dildo made out of PVC, which is not my favorite¹ material, but I can accept it if I have to.
*CORRECTION* 6-19-13
Like I mentioned at the start of this review, I'm doing this with the help of Google translate, and probably not surprisingly, some mistakes were made. The Tower is not made out of PVC, but TPU which is a non-porous and hypo-allergenic.
The inside of the Tower is completely hollow, which makes this a surprisingly light toy. Now, when it comes to G-spotting toys, I like heavy. But for straight-dildos, lighter is gooder. It means I can thrust for a long time without my wrists getting sore.

I can see all the way to Paris!

And with about 6.25" of insertable length, thrusting is something I'm totally doing! I never thought I'd say this about a straight-up straight dildo, but I actually really love the way this one feels! It's smooth and soft and provides a great filling sensation with its 4" circumference (measured right below the "head" of the Tower). The head is very slightly bulbous, which I personally like. It's got a circumference of 4.25" inches, which is a slight enough difference to not be over challenging. There is a very small seam right under the "head" which is easily felt with your finger-tips, but honestly, I didn't feel it at all when the toy was inside of me. There are other seams on the base of the tower, but since I really don't think you're supposed to put that part inside of yourself, it shouldn't be a problem.

Don't put this part in your vag please

Speaking of having this thing inside of me... I like it! It is a genuinely pleasant experience. I'm going to be honest and say that I don't often use dildos on my own when I masturbate. My go-to toys tend to be vibes, because there's less thrusting and more insta-gasms. But this is a dildo that I can and do use on my own. The "windows" in the base of the tower are perfect for me to slide my fingers into, so instead of thrusting in and out, like I would with a more traditional dildo, I can actually pull the Tower into my vag! I love that! It's a unique way of masturbating (at least for me), and I'm a fan of this method.
And never fear, the Tower is partner-friendly too! Again, it's the "windows" that give a great place to grip and thrust without getting sore wrists.

The only issue that I seem to have so far with the Tower, is that it's a bit long for my tastes. I can sometimes feel the bulbous tip poking at my cervix if I get a little too enthusiastic. I think that's because of the pulling motion that I use (as described above, remember?), and it probably depends on where I am in my cycle² But other than that, I've found fucking the Eiffel Tower to be a very pleasant experience. And there's a sentence I never thought I would type.

Since I know some of you are looking at this toy and wondering "can I put that in my ass?" (and I love you guys for it), the answer is a tentative yes. Because of the flared base, this should be an anal safe toy. However, because PVC is a porous material, it will pick up some nasty stuff over time, so you might want to use a barrier like a condom for anal play, and never never never go ass-to-vag without changing the condom. You really don't want to be bringing the local ass-bacteria into your vag, it doesn't belong there and it will not be happy.

My two Towers :o)

So I think that just about wraps it up for the Tower. Now, I know what you're all going to ask next, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. The Tower is not available in the States, yet. The company is still trying to get a lot of publicity, and to build up a client-base. If you want to know more, you should check them out at their facebook page, and say hi to Sebastien for me!

When it becomes available, I'll let you guys know and update the post with a link to buy one. Because really, who wouldn't want to fuck the Eiffel Tower?

*UPDATE* 12-2-13
Hey guys! I just heard that the tower will soon be available for purchase in the U.S.! I'll keep you posted!

The Tower was provided to me for free in exchange for my honest review! Thank you again to Sebastien Lecca for sending it to me and putting up with all of my questions! I enjoyed my "trip" to Paris.

1 Usually, I only use/review toys that are made out of 100% non-porous materials like silicone, glass and steel; but I made an exception for the Tower. Partially because my French is rusty (read: non-existent), and I wasn't actually sure what the toy's material was before I got it, and partially because I just couldn't resist a dildo shaped like the freakin' Eiffel Tower! 
*NOTE* See corrections above.^↩

2 Some people menstruate, get over it. :oP^↩

Mini Mail-Call

I just wanted to throw-up a quick, mini, mail-call post to share two things that were delivered to me today.


First up is a new "mini" vibe from FunFactory called the Flash (there will be many super-hero jokes to be had, I can already tell):

It's orange, I die! :o)

Look for a review of this cute little vibe before the end of June. Or, you could subscribe, and be notified when it goes up.


And second, while this isn't really toy-related at all, I just had to share it. Our wedding rings came in the mail today! I haven't opened the package yet, as I'm waiting to see my fiance tonight and we'll open it together. But I'm super psyched!


Alright, that about wraps up this Mail-Call. Look for two exciting new reviews coming in the next few weeks, and maybe even a bonus review if I can find a few extra hours to rub together.

C-C-C-Changes

Hello there wonderful lovely folks! How are you on this fine June day?

I just wanted to throw together a quick post to talk about some of the changes you've all been noticing on the blog. Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong... probably.

Let's get right to it, shall we?

First, and biggest, I've moved! Domains that is. Yup, that's right, I've got my very own, brand-spanking-new domain name now! Right at the top of the page! Did you notice it? Did ya? 'Cause I couldn't shut up about it on twitter. :o) What can I say? I'm excited. It's like a milestone for me in terms of my blogging and reviewing. I sort of started out reviewing as something fun to do in my spare time. But over the past few months I've gotten much more serious about it, and I'm honestly just having too much fun to quit now. Buying my domain is a way for me to show that I plan to be doing this for a while.

Next (and not quite as exciting) you might have noticed my shiny new social media buttons right over there in the side bar. Clicking on them will take you right to my RSS feed (you should subscribe! Was that subtle enough?), my twitter account, and my facebook page.

Which brings me to my next piece of news... I've got a facebook page now! It's at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Septimus-Reviews/459266304155130?fref=ts, which is long and awkward to type, so go ahead and just click on the shiny new button (come on, you know you want to!). And while you're there, you can "like" the page if you want to. Which means that every time I post a new blog entry, or share something super-duper cool, it'll pop up in your "timeline". You won't have to check the blog obsessively (like you do), to see new posts and reviews anymore!

But, if you do hit F5 like it's going out of style, then you've probably noticed something else new, namely, my GoodVibes banner! I'm now part of their affiliate program, and I'd absolutely love it if you used my affiliate link when getting some goodness over there. You can do that by clicking on their banner (and isn't it a pretty one?), or clicking on their link under the "Stores I Love to Support" list! Again, I do get a commission from these sales, but it's not paying my rent or anything, so don't sweat it if you're not interested. Although they're just a really cool store in general, and you should support them, you know, 'cause they're cool and junk.

Well, I think that just about wraps things up for now. I've probably bored you fine people to death already anyways. But if I haven't, and you're still hanging in with me...

Stay tuned for some exciting reviews coming up over the rest of the month. I'm going to be reviewing the weirdest toy it has ever been my pleasure to own (and that includes my tentacle), La Tour est Folle! I will also (hopefully) be reviewing a brand new vibe by FunFactory (courtesy of edenfantasys). And, if I have enough time between Works and wedding planning, I'll be reviewing that tentacle I mentioned.

Alright, scram. No loitering! :o)